Eportfolio Writing - My Moment in Time

Learning Objectives:
Level 3
Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.
Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:
To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
A variety of sentence starters
A variety of sentence lengths
Edit and rework
Effective peer checking and feedback


One day me my mum and dad went to kaikoura.
The drive was long.
First we stopped at Culverden, Waiau and Finlay we arrived at kaikoura. First me my mum, my dad and my dog arrived at our Holiday home we set up the beds then we staid there for lunch.After lunch we went to a deep swimming hole.The hole was so deep even my dad couldn't touch the ground. my dog jumped in then me.When I jumped in the splash was so big it wet my mum as she was sitting on the edge of the hole. After we had a swim we went back and had dinner.The next day my dad went on a boat to go fishing. He caught a barracuda    the end

Student Reflection

In my writing, one of my goals is to check spelling, punctuation and grammar.

I did show this goal here because I checked everything that my goal said to do.

My next step is to use more punctuation.

Teacher comment: Jayce, your holiday sounds fun! I hope you guys enjoyed yourselves.
Think about how you can make your writing interesting for readers. How can you keep them engaged?
Your next step is to follow the structure of moment in time.

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

Teacher Comment: